PARIS!

Parisian food!

EDIT: Sorry. I was going to edit this post with a recap of the last few days, but as soon as I uploaded the video the internet crapped out. Then whenever I tried to finish it, I kept running out of time! Then by the time I returned, there was more to recap! I need to learn Mimi and Stellar's method of shorter and more frequent posts.



We were all pretty out of it for the first day. We dropped our bags off at the hotel and wandered around in a daze. Luckily we have Mimi, who can navigate a subway system in her sleep.

When we were planning this trip, I was worried that Stellar would feel left out. After all, Mimi and Emily have been my friends since middle school and high school, and we have a million in-jokes and oddities. But I shouldn't have worried because everyone gets along great. Actually, I think Stellar and Emily might have been separated at birth because they have the same strange sense of humor. About an hour after meeting they were breaking into song together and putting on weird voices.

We wandered around until we bumped into Sainte-Chapelle. Mimi wanted to see the stained glass, so we waited in line, went up these spiral stairs, and arrived at...

Oh, man. Coolest stained glass ever.

I tried to get a picture of everyone admiring the windows, but Stellar noticed and started hamming it up. You will noticed that this is a trend.

Outside the church, on a balcony, were some beautiful carvings of stories from Genesis. This one is Cain and Abel.

Back outside, we continued wandering in a daze. We were all pretty sleepy by this point, since we had been up for over thirty-six hours. The next day, I showed Emily this picture. "Oh!" she said, "I forgot that we went there!"

We went to a little restaurant and had crepes for dinner.

The next day, we made a beeline for Montmartre. Of course, we had to see the Moulin Rouge while we were there. I have to say, we were all a little disappointed. I think Stellar and I were expecting a giant elephant with Nicole Kidman in it. Oh, well.

After some wandering, we went to Sacre-Coeur. This was one of my favorite places last time I was in Paris, and the church was even more beautiful than I remembered. We had a baguette, cured ham, and those wonderful cheeses that you can see in the video above.

We went out to a gorgeous little cafe that Mimi recommended. I had curried veal. Now, I know that veal is the just about the least-ethical meat you can possibly put in your mouth, but IT WAS SO GOOD.

We planned out the week a bit, and it looks like it's going to be a busy one. We decided that we should go to sleep early so we would have energy for it all... and then we giggled like loons for an hour before finally passing out. Except for Stellar, who, as you can see in the background, is deaf to our shenanigans.

Next day was the Louvre.

It was huge, and we wandered around for most of the day. Mimi and Emily have some art and art history training, unlike us heathen scientists, so Stellar and I got to listen to some really interesting analysis of some of the stuff we saw. Here are some of my favorites:

This was just about the first thing we saw. Mimi and I speculated that there used to be something on their shoulders, supported by all four of them, but without it it just looked like they were standing in a circle regarding their cocks. Then we got closer and saw that all of their penises were twisted into curly-cues. This confused us until we looked at the plaque and saw that they were satyrs. Still, it was one of the more perplexing things we saw that day.

I love how regal Athena looks here, and how ridiculous that little owl in her hand is.

Possibly my favorite piece in the Louvre: Cupid and Psyche. Mimi and I noticed that Psyche here is one of the few female sculptures from this time period who isn't shaped like a man with two breasts stuck on with ice-cream scoops.

We had lunch at a cafe in the Richelieu wing. Seated out on the balcony, this was our view:

Spectacular.

Next day. Versailles. This is one of the things that I would never have done or even thought to do if it weren't for Mimi and Emily. I thought it wouldn't really be my thing, but man was I wrong. Words cannot describe how ridiculously rich, huge, and beautiful this place is.

Pictures cannot do it justice. The palace was so luxurious that you could barely look at the walls without gagging. The grounds were enormous - we walked around all day and didn't even cover half of them. Then Mimi took us over to Le Domaine de Marie Antoinette. Apparently this lady built what was basically a farm-and-village theme park for her kids. I thought this made her sound like the biggest ditz in the world (like an eighteenth-century Paris Hilton in "The Simple Life"), but, well...

 It was gorgeous. If I had ridiculous piles of money and no conscience, I might build the same thing. As we approached, Stellar and I broke into a rendition of "Bonjour" from Beauty and the Beast. I was a little surprised that we both knew all the lyrics. Mimi and Emily laughed at us, but later Mimi started singing "Into the Woods" with the rationalization that Sondheim trumps Disney every time.

 We hung out in the Temple of Love, which was really just a little gazebo-type thing surrounded by a beautiful garden. Every part of every garden just makes you want to cry and then live there forever. I wish we could have seen the whole thing, but I was wearing my new sandals and after five hours of walking my heelbones were about to pop through the soles of my feet.

It's Saturday morning now, and we're getting ready to go to the Catacombs. I've been looking forward to this! I'll try to post more often, and I have a few more videos to edit and post as well.